$7 to get on the beach buys an entire day of entertainment. Not only do you get the sun and the waves--you get the bennys acting like it's a meat market. You'll never see as many blowouts and tacky tattoos as you do at Belmar. Girls: stop dating these men. As AP put it, "you're only making them think it's okay to act like that!"
Perhaps you're wondering what I mean. Allow me to illustrate by retelling the phone conversation we overheard from one such benny about 20 ft. from our blanket:
"Yeah, yeah, yeah so what's up? Those broads you're with they cougahs?"
He paced with that very specific swagger these men have while the person on the other end responded.
"Fuckin' drunk cross-eyed cougahs? Yeah? They lookin' for some action?"
At this point AP and I were just about in tears.
"Yeah, well we don't need to call them no more."
Of course, our conversation for the rest of the day was peppered with "fuckin' drunk cross-eyed cougahs," even if it didn't make sense. My friend made a couple excellent points about these greased up, blowed-out, juiced-up, jagerbomb drinking young men that give Jersey and Staten Island a bad name: Dudes shouldn't wear Armani or white sunglasses. Ever. He also went on to compare the dudebros (Dude! Bro!) of the West Coast to the guidos of the East Coast. He explained, "You can say about a dudebro, 'yeah, he's a dudebro, but he's a nice guy.' You can't say that about guidos." No, you can't because that's part of their description. As a rule, they're dickbags.
As AP and I made our way through the meat market to the water, some jerk was playing with a wiffleball bat and almost hit her. "Sorry, I carry a big stick."
"That's what she said?"
Well done, AP. Although, you really should have punched him.
If you haven't already, do yourself a favor and watch this:
2 comments:
yeahhhh we don't need to call dem no mo' - they lookin' fo' some action? x
When did tacky tattoos become a guy's idea of a chick magnet?
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