My Shamrock Lodge

This weekend was Celia's bachelorette weekend, or "girls' weekend" as she liked to call it. I arrived to a good 10 more females than I was expecting. I wasn't even entirely out of the car before Celia handed me a glass of wine--a telltale sign that my weekend was going to hilarious, awesome and more fun than I've had in a long time.

The house we stayed in was perfect. It was bright green and fabulous.

Here's a picture of our digs.

Rumor had it that Johnny Depp was getting married on Tybee Island on the Saturday that we were there. My orders: "Find him. Stop the wedding. I'll get there...he just has to meet me first." Mission failed, sorry Ally. However, we didn't need J-Depp for excitement.

First night out: North Beach Grill that was maybe a total of 5 blocks from the house, yet somehow took us 20 minutes to get there. Women suck at directions: learn street names, y'all. Anyway, we had some drinks and some tasty food before we headed back. We promptly traded our sundresses for pajamas. Well, in Celia's case she wore a slinky blue nightie as we chatted and sipped champagne in the backyard. We had some quality girl talk, ranging from young boys, ex-lovers and in my opinion far too much talk of marriage. What did I expect, everyone there except for me was in a serious long-term relationship. Luckily, I didn't let myself feel too bummed.

The next day was brunch and a lingerie shower. In a word, I felt uncomforable buying my big (yes, I was in a sorority, don't judge) sexy lingerie for her German husband, especially since I know he has interesting tastes. I bought her a cute two piece tank top with frilly shorts to match. It was a very me thing to give her. The only scandalous gifts she got was a pair of crotchless from the "sexpot 7," Celia's little sister's friends. They also brought along the penis straws, which Celia passed out: One for Bethany, who has been married 3 years and thus "deserves" it and one for Bridget "because she likes giving blow jobs." Only our Celia! She didn't do that until later on Saturday, so I'll get back to the penis straws momentarily.

After the lingerie shower, the adults left and the girls hit the beach. It was a sight, 15 girls all laying out on the beach. We brought beer and margaritas (duh) with us as we soaked up the sun. A cop on a golf cart drove up and warned us about glass on the beach. "No problem officer, we'll take care of it!"

"Okay ladies. You can pour it into a cup. Beer is okay, just no glass."

We did just that. An hour or so later, another cop rode up to us as Brig was pouring her beer into a plastic cup. An $87.50 ticket later, Celia sassed the cop in the way only she can: "Thanks so much for ruining my special weekend, sir!" I maintained a steady buzz from noon until we returned to the house to get ready for dinner and going out at around 7pm. Lydia and her friends did a fabulous job with dip, tacos and chicken fajitas. Delicious. They also made a punch with sorbet, ginger ale, wine and champagne. So delicious. Margaritas were also part of our evening activities--shots of vodka in Celia's. By the time we went out, we were good and ready to wreak some havoc on Tybee.

More to come, including all about nipples, Buster and tequila.