Ghost Crabs

Today, I was viciously attacked by a ghost crab. I was minding my own business, getting a tan and reading my book when it scampered onto my beach towel and attempted to nip off my nips. The little girl that was chasing it was able to scoop it into her bucket. Twenty minutes later, it escaped and made a beeline (crabline?) directly back to me.

Now, as I sit in the Myrtle Beach airport waiting for my flight back to my home in the wonderful world of smog, I have to ask: What did I do to deserve this? What did this frighteningly large crab have against me and my breasts? As far as I could tell, I was not laying on any of the entrances to his underground tunnels (up to 4ft. deep). I was reading a heartwarming tale of a man dying of pancreatic cancer AND I did two good deeds for others on the beach. A grandma got knocked over by her umbrella and I watched over someone's radio as they went to lunch. Neither of those things are deserving of a crab attack. So why? WHY did a crab attack me and then come back for more?