2008: A Summary

The year is coming to a close. When I think back over the year, I cannot believe how far I've come. But I can believe it as well, because I worked really hard to get where I am. After the New year begins, I start my grown-up job. I've been sober since July 5, and even though I said it was going to be a six-month thing, I don't know if I do want to start drinking again, even just a glass of wine at dinner. Maybe I'll have a taste of beer when I'm in Germany, but I really have no desire to start drinking again. I know people say "oh, it's moderation," but that was the problem--I couldn't control it. So, I don't think I will start drinking again. Go ahead, call me a quitter. I'm proud of it.

I also feel like I finally know what I want to do with myself. The grown-up job will be a placeholder until I can really get going on my dream, but I also feel like my current career will give me a lot of opportunities.

For you (but more for me) a quick summary of 2008:

January: No longer homeless, finally walking. Shitty New Year's, but that was my bad. I went to Killington with some friends, there wasn't any snow.
February: I had another birthday, then I started seeing someone. It was doomed from the beginning. Finally saw the Spice Girls, and yes I wept when they came on stage.
March: Dominican Republic! I never need to go back, to be honest. But it was good times, I jumped off of a waterfall.
April: I officially became someone's girlfriend this month. It was still doomed, because I really only wanted to hang out with Panic.
May: If I stayed at my first college, I would have graduated this month. I could have been working for a major news network, or writing for a local paper by now. Alas, I finished senior year round one, then went to Switzerland and Italy. Life could be worse.
June: New apartment, new roomies. Spent two weeks too many with the family in SC, but got started on an amazing tan. Broke up with the girlfriend, kept drinking heavily.
July: Nearly 200 lbs. Gross. Celia got married, I decided I needed a life change. Stopped drinking, stopped the nonsense.
August: Started running and acupuncture. Started feeling good.
September: Beginning of senior year: the sequel. More responsibility at work, realized I needed help to get to where I wanted to go. Asked for help, got help. Ran my first 5k.
October: Casey passed away. Became even more dedicated to living the life I want to lead, working hard at resisting temptation, and becoming stronger.
November: Learned how to maximize my happiness. Started being grateful, rather than resentful or jealous. Learned how to accept the love language of others, and more clearly express my love as well.
December: One of my best friend's mom's passed away. It was unexpected, and only a week before Christmas. I grieved for her loss, and mine as well because I love her mom. I reminded myself how blessed I am to have my family, as crazy as they make me. I am lucky that my oldest sister is a part of our lives again, that my parents are both living and healthy, that my other sister and I have a connection that is so strong that nothing could ever break it. I had one of the merriest Christmases on record, even if I did have to be south of the Mason-Dixon.

Beginning sometime in November, I started jotting down 3 things a day for which I was grateful. Here's a short list of some of the things I appreciated throughout the past couple months:

• I am grateful that I have become an optimist. I am lucky to always see the light in situations and the silver lining to every could. Not everyone can do that and I should see that as a gift.
• I am grateful that for my hands. They remind me of my mother. My hands help me create, which is why I'm thankful for my hands.
• I am grateful that I was able to spend a nice night out with my roommates. It was fun being able to hang out with just the two of them without having to compete with any other people.
• I am grateful that this past year and a half--although difficult--has allowed me to appreciate my family the way they should be appreciated. I'm grateful that I have grown and learned so much.

I'm going to keep writing down things that I'm grateful for, although I probably won't post on here when I'm grateful for things like breakfast and internet (which I am, very much). I also plan on challenging myself to express my gratitude more freely. When I love people, like my family and friends, it's hard for me to say it. I'd rather show that I love someone by doing things for them, but I know that it's also nice to hear it from time to time.

New Year's resolutions? No, I don't think it works like that. I just want to continue being a better me, which means taking care of myself the way I should. I want to be a better daughter, sister, friend, roommate, co-worker, boss. If I keep myself on the path I'm on, I know that I will be able to do that.

So, that was the year-end blog wrap-up. Expect bigger and better things from me in 2009, and I hope the same for you.